Nice! Not Nice! – Obsessing Over Hillary Clinton – The President Show – Comedy Central


Why are you back?!
-(Bannon sighs) There was a murder
at my favorite Denny’s. Nice! Hey, that brings us
to our desk piece. It’s time for “Nice! Not Nice!”-Supernot nice. -What?
-(applause and cheering) ♪ ♪ ♪ Nice! ♪ Miniskirts. In order to convince me
to stay at war, General McMaster had
to show me an old photo of hot Afghan women
in miniskirts. Talidamn!Not nice! Mini fridges. Mini fridges have problems
on many sides. On many sides. You have to bend down
to use them, the freezer always ices up, and the shelves are too short
for my KFC bucket. And the bucket’s the best part. But show me a mini fridge
in a miniskirt, and, fridgie, damn…! Super not nice. Lice. They pester small children
at summer camp, and that’smyjob. Okay, Steve, stay on topic. What? You can’t fire me. I queef. -Language!
-English! That’s my favorite one! I know it by heart. Moving on. Nice. Statues. The single best way to preserve
our precious, precious history. Not nice! History. It’s old, it’s books, and I wasn’t there,
so who cares? Besides, people always say,
if you don’t learn it, it just repeats itself. So I’ll catch a rerun. (laughter) (sniffs)
Uh, super duper not nice. The History Channel. It’s allPawn Stars
andAmerican Pickers.Where’s Hitler?
He used to be the whole channel. When I get home
after a hard morning, I want to plunk down
on my bare mattress, with a jug of wine,
and root for Hitler! (chuckles)
You know, when I need to unwind, Karen runs me
a nice, shallow bath. That’s disgusting, Mike. I hope you drown in it
like a toddler. Nice. Hillary Clinton. She called me a creep
for breathing down her neck during the second debate. But I’m not a creep. I’m in love. I’m obsessed with her! I can’t stop thinking about her. The only reason I wanted to see
her 30,000 e-mails was because I was hoping
there was one in there that said she lovedme!(laughter, aw’ing) (crying):
Not nice! Tears! There’s water in my eye, Steve!
Help me! Help! I said I don’t like water. But let me do it nice–
that’ll cheer you up. (Trump crying quietly) You know what’s…nice?Working for
a white nationalist website, then working
inside the White House while yousayyou stopped
working at that website, but you never really did. -Okay, okay, Steve. -So then
you go back to that website, even though you’ll still be
working for the White House, -No, Steve, no, no, no, no.
-but this time without the shackles
of a gutless deep state, -TRUMP: Okay, uh…
-keeping me from using -PENCE: No.
-my dark sex magic -No. -in my war against
globalist secular modernity! -He’s getting too intense!
-I am the beast -He’s overheating!
-in the maze! -No! Steve! Oh, no! -And
the Grail resides within me! -We have to cool him down!
-I and other virile… (yelling) I’m melting! -Oh, no! I’m melting!
-PENCE: Oh, no. I told you
I never touch the stuff! Oh…! -He’s a witch!
-Oh! I’m a witch. -TRUMP: Steve!
-(yelling) No…! It’s impossible! No, Steve! No! -(final exhale)
-PENCE: He’s gone! Don’t worry.
This happens all the time. He’ll be back.